And as for Dean, he was waiting on me hand and foot. If I had so much as a tingle in my back, he was standing next to me with a hot rag to rest there. He was so loving and caring. Having lost his own mother when he was younger, he somewhat understood what I was going through. He tried so hard to make it better. And although the hurt would never go away, his love helped it to subside.

One night when I laid down next to Dean in our bed, he rested his hand on my swollen stomach and looked at me with tears in his eyes. "What's wrong?" I asked. He smiled at me with those eyes of his and said,

"Absolutely nothing, everything is perfect. I have my Brown eyes, and she is giving me one of the greatest gifts a woman can give a man, a child." He kissed me gently and pulled me into his arms. We slept like that for the night.

One morning a few weeks after that, I awoke to find Dean gone to work already like he was most mornings. I got up and dressed before I headed downstairs. Violet was sitting at the kitchen table writing a list of groceries when I walked in. She looked up at me and smiled.

"And how is the little mama this morning?"

"The little mama" was a nickname she had taken to calling me ever since the day she had met me. I picked up an apple out of the bowl on the table and smiled back at her as I sat down.

"I am very well, thank you. And how about you, Violet?" The morning sunlight streamed through the window and danced across her friendly face. "I am fine, Honey. Just getting ready to do the grocery shopping."

"Can I come?" I asked.

She smiled at me with her magical eyes that were just like Dean's and answered, "You'd better stay here today, little mama. You're getting far enough along now that you can't be up and about so much. But don't worry, I'll be back real quick."

I nodded and grabbed her hat for her as she picked up her list and her bag off of the table. She kissed me on the cheek before she walked out the door and said,

"Now you just sit down and read a bit or listen to the radio. Rest up because you're going to need it soon."

I laughed a little and told her not to worry. I waved at her from the doorway as she walked down the sidewalk.

I made myself a cup of tea and decided to go sit in the small garden Violet had in her backyard. It may have been small, but she made it look lovely. As soon as you walked into it, you could smell the poppies she had growing. I sat on the old worn out swing and sipped my tea as I inhaled the warm summer breeze. I slipped off my shoes and let my feet brush the grass as I swung back and forth. I was so happy here. When I had left San Francisco, I had almost thought I would never be happy again. But I was dead wrong, this was the happiest I had ever been.

About an hour later, Violet came home with the groceries and I helped her put them away. I was putting the last bit away when Violet went into the parlor and turned on the radio before picking up her knitting needles. As I was putting a bottle of green beans into the cupboard, I stepped in something wet. I looked down and saw a small puddle by my feet. My mouth dropped open and my first thought was, Oh, My Lord! Its time! I called out,

"Violet! Violet, come in here please!"

She stepped into the doorway, "What is-"

She saw what had happened and said,

"Well, little mama, it's time. Let's get you upstairs and ready for this, all right?"

I nodded and walked with her up to the bedroom.

Upstairs, she helped get me into my nightgown and had me lay down after she had put down towels across the bed.

"Now, I'm going to call Dr. Rosen and tell him we need him. Ill send Lily's daughter to go and get Dean from the store. You stay calm. I'll be right back, Honey." Violet said as she gave my hand a squeeze. I nodded and she started down the stairs.

Before long, Violet had come back and sat with me, just talking and keeping me calm. I started to cry and said,

"Violet, I'm so scared."

She wiped away my tears and reassured me. "Dont be scared, Honey, this is a wonderful thing. And you and the baby will be just fine. This baby is going to have a fine mama too." I smiled at her and laid my head back into the pillows.

At four o' clock the next morning, Celia Amber Willis was born. Dean came into the bedroom with dark circles under his eyes and took her from my tired arms. He cried that first time he saw her. He was overwhelmed at how beautiful she was. She had my dark brown curls, and his magical blue eyes. I strained to stay awake, but I couldn't. Before my eyes finally shut, I watched Dean rocking our baby Celia.

Because I was young, the birth was especially hard on my body. I had to spend two weeks in that bed. The only time I wasnt resting was when Celia needed to be fed. I was so tired then, I don't remember much of that time. I just remember Dean next to me on the bed talking to me, and I remember feeling so in love with baby Celia. And I was so happy to be a mother. It was a breathtaking emotion. And the way she felt, resting in my arms, it made all of the hurt and pain worth it.

One afternoon in July, I was giving Celia a bath as Violet was downstairs baking bread. Just as I was taking Celia out of the small tub, there was a knock at the door. I wrapped Celia in a towel and started down the stairs. When I looked up after reaching the bottom step, there in the doorway I saw Violet with her arms wrapped around a man and they both were crying. I stood timidly at the foot of the stairs watching until the man asked,

"And who's this pretty young thing?" I smiled and adjusted baby Celia's position in my arms. Violet sniffed and answered,

"George, this is your niece Doris, and baby Celia. Doris, this is your Uncle George." I gazed at him in wonderment. I had only heard stories about George. He took baby Celia from my arms and cuddled her close to him. She gazed up into this new face that was smiling at her. He chuckled at her in astonishment. It was so wonderful to stand there and watch this grandfatherly looking man holding my baby Celia.

That night, we sat around the kitchen table with George and Violet and listened to his stories about the war. Baby Celia was asleep and I was laying my head on Dean's shoulder as he held my hand underneath the table. After George had talked about the war a bit, Dean and Violet started to fill him in on what had happened with my mother. When they had finished, George looked at me and said,

"You are no embarrassment to us. You and Dean are the children we never had and I am so grateful I was able to come home to find you two here." I smiled at him and said,

"And Violet and yourself are like parents to me. Even though I only met you today, it feels as though I've known you forever."

Dean squeezed me and rested his head on top of mine.

George spent a week or so at home, getting rested and getting acquainted with baby Celia and me. He was a man I really took to and got along well with. He was so loving and caring. I could tell that he had a lot of influence on Dean during his childhood. They had so much in common, and they were both wonderful men. When the week had ended and Monday rolled around again, George went to the store to help Dean manage it.

That summer was glorious! It was filled with happiness, laughter, Sunday afternoon picnics and many other family outings. Baby Celia was getting bigger, and having a wonderful time getting to know her Uncle George and Aunt Violet. It was a very fun time, but it also went by very fast. Before I knew it, it was September once again.

One cool evening, Dean and I were in the parlor listening to the radio when the telephone rang. It stopped ringing and a few seconds later Violet stepped into the room and said,

"Doris Honey, it's for you."

I looked at her with a puzzled look and walked into the kitchen where the phone was.

"Hello?" I asked shakily.

"Doris? Is that you baby?"

I heard my mother's voice say on the other end of the telephone.

"Mom? How did you know where I was?"

"Never mind, baby. I've got something important to tell you." Her voice trembled as she spoke.

"I got a letter in the mail yesterday... your father's not coming home."

I gasped and brought my hand up to my mouth. Violet looked over to me with concern in her eyes. I didn't know what to do, so I just sat the phone back down on the cradle and listened to the click as it disconnected from my mother. I fell to the floor and buried my face in my hands as my body was wracked with sobs. Violet was immediately on the floor next to me, holding me in her maternal embrace. Dean was on the other side of me, doing his best to comfort me, but all I could think of was that my father was dead. I never had the chance to say goodbye, and now I never would. He'd never get to see his granddaughter or his son in law. He'd never see his little girl all grown up.

Dean tried to get me to go to sleep that night, but I wouldn't. All I could do was sit and think about the fact that I had just lost my father forever. I wondered if my mother had written him and told him I was pregnant? I wondered if he was disappointed in me? Had he known I was married? Had he any idea that he was a grandfather to a gorgeous baby girl? I would never have the chance to know. I sat staring into the dark that night, holding Celia close to me when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked back, half expecting to see my father and saw Dean staring down at me sympathetically. He took my hand in his and squeezed it tightly. A hint of tears in his eyes glittered in the moonlight that was pouring in the parlor window. I knew that, for the most part, he knew what I was going through. He pulled a chair up behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Almost as if he was reading my thoughts he said,

"Even though your father and I never met, I know that you two were very close and that he was always very proud of you. I know he's somewhere up beyond those stars, and he's looking down at his beautiful daughter and granddaughter and bursting with pride."

I started to sob as he gently hugged me and stroked his fingers through my hair to comfort me. He took Celia to her cradle and came back to bring me to bed. When he entered the room, I collapsed into his arms and stood there feeling the comforting strength of his embrace as I cried.

The next morning, Dean called my mother and found out when and where the memorial service was to be held. By that afternoon, we had loaded up everything we needed for the trip, and the three of us were on our way back to San Francisco. George and Violet dropped us all off at the train station. It was a tearful goodbye, despite the fact that we were coming home in a few days. We finally climbed on the train and took our seats. The train started to move and the conductor came around for the tickets, Dean handed them to him, then leaned back in his seat and relaxed. I held Celia in my lap and absently played with her hair as the train chugged along.

The train ride was long and monotonous, but we finally made it to San Francisco. The hot air washed over me as we got off the train at the station. Dean got our bags and wrapped his arm around me as we headed to find a cab. It didn't take long for one to pull over and pick us up. We climbed in and sat silently in the back as the driver headed for the St. Francis Hotel. Since we were staying at the hotel where Dean and I had met, I wished that we were here under more romantic circumstances. But despite the sadness that hung in the air, it was still sweet to see that old clock still up there ticking away. From the first time since the phone call from my mother, I smiled.

Dean and I went up to our room and got settled. We laid Celia on the bed and surrounded her with pillows. She slept quietly as we put our clothes in the closet and drawers in the room. It was late in the evening by the time we were finished, so Dean and I changed and got ready to go to the old diner downtown to grab a bite to eat.

We walked in and a nostalgic feeling washed over me as I noted that nothing had changed, every little thing was in its place. I was startled to see Ruth sitting in a booth in the corner with a man I had never seen before. She spotted us and ran over to me with open arms. We cried as we embraced each other. She and the man made room at the booth for Dean and I to sit next to them while we all ate. Ruth introduced us to the man whose name was Jeffrey. It turned out that he was her latest boyfriend, not to mention the only one shed ever kept for more than three weeks. And not only that, but they were engaged and were getting married that summer once Ruth had graduated. Ruth had heard about my father and she told me how sorry she was. She was going to be at the memorial service the next day. I stared at her for a second, then asked simply,

"Did he know?"

She looked back and nodded softly.

"Yeah, he knew."

A wave of curiosity washed over me and I asked,

"Do you know if he was upset? Was he disappointed?"

She looked over at me with sympathy and said,

"I don't know if he was or not. Your mother never said much about his reaction. I just overheard her telling my mother that she had written him about it."

I nodded and sipped my tea. And awkward silence fell over us just before Dean and I decided to go back to the hotel. Ruth and I hugged again and I told her how good it was to see her. Finally, we left.

A warm feeling lingered in the lobby of the hotel as we walked inside, and memories of the night Dean and I had met flashed through my mind like a picture show. I heard his smooth voice and felt his hand on my shoulder as though it were all happening over again. Even with all of the bad things that had happened, I was so glad that we had met. All the good moments made the painful ones worth it. When we got up to the room, I was exhausted and so was Dean. Celia had beaten us to falling asleep and was cuddled up against Dean's shoulder. I took her from him and changed her into a nightgown. We made a bed of pillows for her on the floor, then collapsed into the bed and slept a deep but restless sleep.

The next morning we woke up early and got ready for the memorial service. I felt numb as I slipped into the modest black dress I had brought and brushed through my hair once more before putting on my hat. Dean and I were both quiet. Although he and my father had never met each other, you could tell there was a special bond and a feeling of respect Dean felt for my father. When we were dressed, we picked up Celia and went outside to catch another cab.

After a short ride, Dean and I stepped out of the cab and started walking toward the church where the two of us had been married almost a year before. People were solemnly walking in the doors, and Father O' Neil was there to greet people. He saw Dean and I walking up and smiled at me gently. As I walked through the doors of the chapel he whispered,

"Welcome home."

I looked down at the floor as we walked into the chapel. When I finally had the nerve to look up, I saw my mother looking at me from across the room. I bit my lip as tears ran down my face and sobs tried to escape my body. Dean had his arms wrapped around me and I held Celia tight. My mother slowly started to walk towards us. She was crying too as she approached us awkwardly and looked at Celia. She wiped the tears off of her cheek and whispered,

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

She hugged me and I hugged her with baby Celia locked in the embrace. When we pulled away, she looked at Celia and smiled a little bit. We didn't say much more then because it was time for the service to start. Dean and I walked up front and took a seat. Up on the podium was the picture of my father in uniform that Dean had been holding that day at my house. I leaned into him as the tears streamed down my cheeks.

The service was beautiful. It was hard to handle, but they had done a wonderful job of honoring my father. Afterwards, everyone came over to my mother's house for the traditional luncheon. It seemed a sad occasion to be having a luncheon for, but that was how things were done around there. I left Celia with Dean and went into the kitchen to help my mother with the food. We were silent for a while when she finally said,

"Maybe you and Dean could come stay with me for a while? Just for a while, to catch up."

I looked at her and with a tremble in my voice answered,

"You expect me to stay here with you? After you kicked me out because you were embarrassed by me? After you deserted me when I needed you most? After you made me feel completely worthless when you were the one person I needed more than anyone else in this world?"

She looked down into the sink and softly replied,

"I said I was sorry."

"Well sorry doesnt cut it, Mom. You had almost a year to apologize, and never once did you even try to contact me. Even when you called about Dad, you never once said you were sorry. It's not that easy. You can't expect me to come live here because you need me now. Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when your granddaughter needed you?"

I grabbed the bowl of potato salad I had been stirring and took it outside to the luncheon table. When I went back into the kitchen, she was sobbing. Tears ran down her cheeks and dripped into the kitchen sink. I started to sob too. When she regained her composure for a minute she looked at the kitchen wall in front of her and said,

"He was never disappointed in you, you know. I wrote to him about it. He was sorry that we had fought, but he was never disappointed. He tried and tried to get me to contact you. But I was stubborn and angry and hurt, so I wouldn't do it. And now, because of me, he never got the chance to know he has a granddaughter and that her name is Celia, and that she is the most gorgeous thing on this earth."

She looked back at me and started to sob again.

That night, my mother drove Dean, Celia, and I to the train station. We had a cold and tearful goodbye as Dean and I boarded the train back to Illinois.